27.2.11
Developing new eyes
"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes." Marcel Proust
It took me a chance to go on vacation to break the routine and develop new eyes on the familiar landscapes. I instantly searched for ways to do things differently, to take a different route to town to avoid the everyday routine, to experience the new. But it doesn't take a vacation to set eyes on what is there all the time around you. It seems that our daily grind makes it difficult to notice what's out there, feeling tired can easily suppress our natural desire and curiosity to observe the world around us. We don't get to have full-blown vacation all that often so let's stay aware of this and cultivate our desire every day to see with new eyes and to take the initiative to discover new possibilities in the familiar.
Choose feeling good over achieving
While having goals and wanting to achieve is necessary for a sense of purpose and our self-improvement, it can also be a hindrance to our happiness. It can be another potential pitfall of the 'someday I will be happy... when" syndrome.
We often create goals and work around achieving them, believing they will be the turning point and bring full satisfaction and contentment. We just need to achieve that one more deal so we can be happy. Sometimes deep down we even believe we don't have the right to feel at peace and happy right at this moment yet since we still have work to do to achieve.
But what if achieving is not always the key to happiness. What if the route is much simpler and unfolding right before us. We don't need anything more at this very moment to be happy, to enjoy ourselves. Perhaps we overrate the happiness factor in having another accomplishment under our belt and an easier means to happiness is just enjoying ourselves... in either case, we need to find a way to learn to enjoy ourselves in the middle of a big achieving project.
There will always be more things to do, as Richard Carlson says in his book, our to-do list will never be empty, and there will always be clouds on our horizons, problems that beg to be solved, but we need to learn to put our own enjoyment first sometimes.
We often create goals and work around achieving them, believing they will be the turning point and bring full satisfaction and contentment. We just need to achieve that one more deal so we can be happy. Sometimes deep down we even believe we don't have the right to feel at peace and happy right at this moment yet since we still have work to do to achieve.
But what if achieving is not always the key to happiness. What if the route is much simpler and unfolding right before us. We don't need anything more at this very moment to be happy, to enjoy ourselves. Perhaps we overrate the happiness factor in having another accomplishment under our belt and an easier means to happiness is just enjoying ourselves... in either case, we need to find a way to learn to enjoy ourselves in the middle of a big achieving project.
There will always be more things to do, as Richard Carlson says in his book, our to-do list will never be empty, and there will always be clouds on our horizons, problems that beg to be solved, but we need to learn to put our own enjoyment first sometimes.
19.2.11
the insiduous "You look tired"
I have been hearing the "you look tired" comment said to me and witnessed it being said to other people and every single time it makes my blood boil a little bit more.
How can anyone think the comment "You look tired" is an innocent remark? How can we not see that "You look tired" implies that you don't look so hot, you don't look so fresh. You look tired is a downright insult.
Saying You look tired is just as rude as saying You have gained weight, you look like you have gotten older. It's a puzzle to me. Everytime I point it out that in my opinion it is rude to say it to someone, the defense response is that they were just trying to be sincere.
There's sincerety and there's a basic knowledge of common sense etiquette. There are things you don't say, unless you are flat out trying to hurt someone. It doesn't mean you are lying, but when you come to think about it, how would looking tired be a welcome comment to anyone and not make them think of connotations of not looking so well. So if you want to make the other person feel less than great and make them wonder what could be wrong with them, go ahead and be 'sincere'.
How can anyone think the comment "You look tired" is an innocent remark? How can we not see that "You look tired" implies that you don't look so hot, you don't look so fresh. You look tired is a downright insult.
Saying You look tired is just as rude as saying You have gained weight, you look like you have gotten older. It's a puzzle to me. Everytime I point it out that in my opinion it is rude to say it to someone, the defense response is that they were just trying to be sincere.
There's sincerety and there's a basic knowledge of common sense etiquette. There are things you don't say, unless you are flat out trying to hurt someone. It doesn't mean you are lying, but when you come to think about it, how would looking tired be a welcome comment to anyone and not make them think of connotations of not looking so well. So if you want to make the other person feel less than great and make them wonder what could be wrong with them, go ahead and be 'sincere'.
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