Caring too much about how well you are performing a task can do more harm than good. Can result in extra tiring work checking yourself if you are doing well, and can actually keep you from doing anything at all.
The perfectionist streak in us can hold us back and keep us stuck! Recognise it and try to nip it in the bud.
What aren't you doing that you'd really like to do because you think at this point you might not be able to do a perfect job, or it won't work out just as it should. Do you find yourself putting off a task to someday when you think you will somehow do a better job?
In the end is it better not to do it all? Who will notice it's not as perfect as you think it should be? Chances are it's all in your mind only.
Practice letting go of the perfectionist streak in you, gradually, because it's freeing and can make you more productive.
Just do it and it will be as it's supposed to be at this moment in time.
31.8.10
What motivates our desires
http://mnmlist.com/fake-needs/
What an inspiring, simple and to the point post this is from one of my favorite blogs speaking about my favorite topic as of late- simplifying.
The topic has become of great interest to me since I started working. I think this is one of the biggest, completely out-of-the blue changes I have noticed that I just haven't expected.
In me there's a big conflict on the subject because one of my main interests is actually style and decorating, but the other is exactly authenticity and what motivates us, our inner desire or our fake desire to conform to society's expectations.
What a loaded subject this is.
I think it's always very important to check in with ourselves and ask ourselves where our desire for more things, for aesthetics come from.
Ever since I started working, I noticed that the desire or the need I feel to beautify and to upgrade myself or my environment is actually very tiring and many times useless. We often think that keeping up with these facades is necessary to be liked and accepted in society but what if this is only in our minds and there's next to no truth to it?! I have noticed that when I don't care, because my true nature is not to care :) nothing happens. Nobody even notices. We self-create these expectations and what we think are needs, to complicate our own lives I am afraid. The article suggests that we let go a little and try the game of giving up on these needs just a bit to see what happens. I am always surprised that nothing does.
It is worth dwelving into this because it eats up a lot of our time and makes our lives unnecessarily more complicated, all the time we could dedicate to other useful things, or doing things we truly enjoy.
The bottom line always is tapping into your inner voice to find out what motivates these needs and desires. Is it because you truly want to cater to them for yourself, and why is that (do you enjoy it?), or is it because of what you think others will think and say.
And what that comes down to, is who then runs your life, because ultimately it is your time, your life we are talking about, who are you living for?
What an inspiring, simple and to the point post this is from one of my favorite blogs speaking about my favorite topic as of late- simplifying.
The topic has become of great interest to me since I started working. I think this is one of the biggest, completely out-of-the blue changes I have noticed that I just haven't expected.
In me there's a big conflict on the subject because one of my main interests is actually style and decorating, but the other is exactly authenticity and what motivates us, our inner desire or our fake desire to conform to society's expectations.
What a loaded subject this is.
I think it's always very important to check in with ourselves and ask ourselves where our desire for more things, for aesthetics come from.
Ever since I started working, I noticed that the desire or the need I feel to beautify and to upgrade myself or my environment is actually very tiring and many times useless. We often think that keeping up with these facades is necessary to be liked and accepted in society but what if this is only in our minds and there's next to no truth to it?! I have noticed that when I don't care, because my true nature is not to care :) nothing happens. Nobody even notices. We self-create these expectations and what we think are needs, to complicate our own lives I am afraid. The article suggests that we let go a little and try the game of giving up on these needs just a bit to see what happens. I am always surprised that nothing does.
It is worth dwelving into this because it eats up a lot of our time and makes our lives unnecessarily more complicated, all the time we could dedicate to other useful things, or doing things we truly enjoy.
The bottom line always is tapping into your inner voice to find out what motivates these needs and desires. Is it because you truly want to cater to them for yourself, and why is that (do you enjoy it?), or is it because of what you think others will think and say.
And what that comes down to, is who then runs your life, because ultimately it is your time, your life we are talking about, who are you living for?
29.8.10
"I am claustrophobic"
Patient stands in front of me to ask for an appointment for a MRI examination and states this for a fact:
" I have claustrophobia."
While I will go last to brush aside mental issues as trifles, my first thought was: Who told you that?
I was just thinking what will happen to her if she comes to the examination bearing the full belief that she has claustrophobia, how will that help her stay for the examination?
She and I talk a little bit, I tried to find out how come she is so sure of this and she couldn't come up with too many reasons or even examples to support this belief.
How many of us live our lives with a false belief about us, that we believe to be real. We often give so much power to these beliefs that they hold us back for a lifetime. But who said you have claustrophobia, you are not good at something or you are a certain way. Don't let these limiting beliefs get in the way of taking chances. Try the game to form a new belief and make that your truth from now. See how it works.
Question everything. When a self-limiting thought occurs, ask yourself immediately, who says so?
" I have claustrophobia."
While I will go last to brush aside mental issues as trifles, my first thought was: Who told you that?
I was just thinking what will happen to her if she comes to the examination bearing the full belief that she has claustrophobia, how will that help her stay for the examination?
She and I talk a little bit, I tried to find out how come she is so sure of this and she couldn't come up with too many reasons or even examples to support this belief.
How many of us live our lives with a false belief about us, that we believe to be real. We often give so much power to these beliefs that they hold us back for a lifetime. But who said you have claustrophobia, you are not good at something or you are a certain way. Don't let these limiting beliefs get in the way of taking chances. Try the game to form a new belief and make that your truth from now. See how it works.
Question everything. When a self-limiting thought occurs, ask yourself immediately, who says so?
you decide how old you are
Two women aged 7o both walk in the ultrasound room to be examined, one after the other.
I didn't know their age beforehand. The first woman I would have guessed 50, moved around and seemed upbeat, I was very surprised to see at the end of the examination that she was 70.
The next patient comes in moving with great difficulty and generally moaning and sighing about life. She complained about her mental wellbeing and looked very old and broken. The doctor asked her how old she is and she answered the following way: : "Oh, I am very old. I am 70."
You give your own significance to the number you have to live with. It's 7o in both cases, but if asked, the first patient would surely not have answered the same way, thinking that 70 = very old.
Health problems can strike at any age, but there's no need walking around believing that old age automatically means helplessness. Nothing automatically means anything, nothing is written in stone for us beforehand. But whatever we believe in, we will make our reality, whether it's true or not, it will be true for us.... so check in and ask yourself why you believe what you believe.
I didn't know their age beforehand. The first woman I would have guessed 50, moved around and seemed upbeat, I was very surprised to see at the end of the examination that she was 70.
The next patient comes in moving with great difficulty and generally moaning and sighing about life. She complained about her mental wellbeing and looked very old and broken. The doctor asked her how old she is and she answered the following way: : "Oh, I am very old. I am 70."
You give your own significance to the number you have to live with. It's 7o in both cases, but if asked, the first patient would surely not have answered the same way, thinking that 70 = very old.
Health problems can strike at any age, but there's no need walking around believing that old age automatically means helplessness. Nothing automatically means anything, nothing is written in stone for us beforehand. But whatever we believe in, we will make our reality, whether it's true or not, it will be true for us.... so check in and ask yourself why you believe what you believe.
it's your responsibility
If your parents haven't done their job, you can correct their mistake now!
If your parents haven't made you feel nurtured, protected and encouraged, you as an adult now have the possibility to correct their mistake.
If they failed to do their job to instill confidence in you that you can achieve your dreams, it has now become your responsibility toward yourself to believe and trust in yourself. Who will encourage you if you don't? Who will support you if you are against yourself?
They didn't know any better. But now, you do!
If your parents haven't made you feel nurtured, protected and encouraged, you as an adult now have the possibility to correct their mistake.
If they failed to do their job to instill confidence in you that you can achieve your dreams, it has now become your responsibility toward yourself to believe and trust in yourself. Who will encourage you if you don't? Who will support you if you are against yourself?
They didn't know any better. But now, you do!
21.8.10
What defines you?
What defines you? What do you stand for? When you are stripped of all your belongings, possessions, loved ones, family members, where do you stand, who are you?
What do you believe in, what is your authentic voice? Whose voice are you listening to?
What do you believe in, what is your authentic voice? Whose voice are you listening to?
it's already in us
back to I'll be happy when... I think it's our human nature to believe that one day it will all fall into place and we'll achieve true happiness and contentment. Just then. When we get that one more thing we lack at this moment. Or when all our ducks are in a row.
But this is self-delusion. It will not be like that. It will be like it is now, today.
The lacking we feel now, the discontent, the frustration will all be there just when that one more thing is achieved. It's all about how we think and feel inside, and that's not determined by our outside circumstances. The things we strive for will help us, and will make our lives easier and more enjoyable but the contentment we need to find inside us right now, not later, when we believe things will fall into place. We can fall into place right now if we align our thoughts! Nothing at all indicates that if our life circumstances get 'better', we will feel better.
Don't wait for more reasons to feel good!
But this is self-delusion. It will not be like that. It will be like it is now, today.
The lacking we feel now, the discontent, the frustration will all be there just when that one more thing is achieved. It's all about how we think and feel inside, and that's not determined by our outside circumstances. The things we strive for will help us, and will make our lives easier and more enjoyable but the contentment we need to find inside us right now, not later, when we believe things will fall into place. We can fall into place right now if we align our thoughts! Nothing at all indicates that if our life circumstances get 'better', we will feel better.
Don't wait for more reasons to feel good!
19.8.10
the Freedom to choose
I think Freedom is underrated. We talk about health and love as most important in our lives, I think Freedom is probably the most valuable thing. The freedom to choose. Unless we are literally held captive or have to do prison time, we are free to live our lives the way we want, to shape our future the way we want and to think for ourselves the way we decide is best for us. We are always free to choose to think thoughts that support us.
15.8.10
in trance
Trance music is my lifesaver. It's my addiction since '98 when I first caught Judge Jules on air on Radio 1. Listening to it, I literally feel my problems fly away. It's a mood elevator and spirit lifter like nothing else, almost. I cannot believe it's a harmless addiction, except the noise my neighbours may have to put up with. Coz this one only works with volume!
This particular song is not in my favorite style, I prefer non-vocals, but the build-up and the breakdown is very well done, and it's a tune I keep listening to over and over again this weekend.
One of life's great 'little' pleasures is coming across a song every so often that you fall in love with, play it over and over, and I do never get sick of them. As long as trance music is with me I will be fine.
This particular song is not in my favorite style, I prefer non-vocals, but the build-up and the breakdown is very well done, and it's a tune I keep listening to over and over again this weekend.
One of life's great 'little' pleasures is coming across a song every so often that you fall in love with, play it over and over, and I do never get sick of them. As long as trance music is with me I will be fine.
14.8.10
Trust in life's unfolding
at the end of the day before getting ready for my big Saturday, the thought that sent my fear packing was that no matter what, I will trust life's unfolding that things will work out the way they need to.
Sometimes it is our big difficulties and seemingly bad situations that pave the way for just the right changes. A situation that starts out really bad may benefit you in the long run. The twists and turns are unpredictable and while we adapt as best we can, what if we believe that life is supporting us and turning out as it should - only we may not know it at the time.
Sometimes it is our big difficulties and seemingly bad situations that pave the way for just the right changes. A situation that starts out really bad may benefit you in the long run. The twists and turns are unpredictable and while we adapt as best we can, what if we believe that life is supporting us and turning out as it should - only we may not know it at the time.
13.8.10
on belonging, possessing and attachment
Wondering if we all have the need to belong. And to possess. To possess objects, people, loved ones, to own, to be able to say- mine.
It's a good feeling to know we belong somewhere. Last night made me feel so comforted to have the feeling of belonging to a circle of friends.
Perhaps women have a stronger need for attachment and belonging, give freedom less importance.
But where do we stand alone and still and where does the sense of belonging to someone or to a group define us/ give us worth.
I know personally I am more attached to objects than to people. Come to think of it, I think I am most attached to my hometown above all. It's interesting to think about how we develop our sense of attachment.
One of my favorite readings of the year says:
"But that is not to say: do not treasure them. This is not to say: discard them, mangle them, and abuse them. But simply refuse to find yourself in them; refuse to identify with them; base your self-worth on them. Play with them, enjoy them, nurture them – but realise that one day they will have to go." urbanmonk.net
It's a good feeling to know we belong somewhere. Last night made me feel so comforted to have the feeling of belonging to a circle of friends.
Perhaps women have a stronger need for attachment and belonging, give freedom less importance.
But where do we stand alone and still and where does the sense of belonging to someone or to a group define us/ give us worth.
I know personally I am more attached to objects than to people. Come to think of it, I think I am most attached to my hometown above all. It's interesting to think about how we develop our sense of attachment.
One of my favorite readings of the year says:
"But that is not to say: do not treasure them. This is not to say: discard them, mangle them, and abuse them. But simply refuse to find yourself in them; refuse to identify with them; base your self-worth on them. Play with them, enjoy them, nurture them – but realise that one day they will have to go." urbanmonk.net
the reproduction mystery
Wondering where the need to reproduce comes from. I often wonder why so few of us choose to adopt children and opt for giving birth to our own kids instead. Where does the need to keep our own genes going come from? As opposed to helping another human being get a better life?
If we are interested in raising a life, why are we also necessarily interested in raising a life we have produced?
If we are interested in raising a life, why are we also necessarily interested in raising a life we have produced?
12.8.10
scaring ourselves
"All any feeling wants is to be welcomed with tenderness. It wants to relax and tell its story." Geneen Roth
I think we tend to scare ourselves with our thoughts. We need to develop a more welcoming and accepting arm toward our negative feelings and frustrations, it is not realistic to expect to live without them. Have trust and patience that they will pass, that we will have the ability to deal and get through. But it's important to allow them and try to understand what's going on instead of scaring ourselves into denial or labeling.
watching the movie
What will happen now?
Have I expected this to be too easy? Have I not prepared myself for the difficulties.... Has the reality of the situation hit me in the face lately a bit too much to continue the outsider attitude of just having fun with my new lifestyle?
How will I handle the difficulties now? It seems to have come out of the blue a little...is it a phase? I have trouble finding things to sustain me and ground me and keep me going. It almost seems like my colleagues are my best friends. Their patience and kindness toward me is absolutely amazing! It seems like there's work and nothing else anymore.
and I have trouble connecting to anything and anyone I ever knew. My friends are being treated very poorly, I hope they are forgiving... and my patience for my people and phone calls is next to nothing.
Inconsistency is not a new notion for me... I think the key is to accept what's going on and really understand that difficulties have to be lived and gone through. I have never before put work first in my life, and put my needs and wants second. This is sooo new. So is my new found drive and will to do well! My energy just needs to keep up with the drive. And all the time too, there's no time for getting down in the dumps, which is oh so familiar to me. But where's the familiar now?
What will it come down to?
Have I expected this to be too easy? Have I not prepared myself for the difficulties.... Has the reality of the situation hit me in the face lately a bit too much to continue the outsider attitude of just having fun with my new lifestyle?
How will I handle the difficulties now? It seems to have come out of the blue a little...is it a phase? I have trouble finding things to sustain me and ground me and keep me going. It almost seems like my colleagues are my best friends. Their patience and kindness toward me is absolutely amazing! It seems like there's work and nothing else anymore.
and I have trouble connecting to anything and anyone I ever knew. My friends are being treated very poorly, I hope they are forgiving... and my patience for my people and phone calls is next to nothing.
Inconsistency is not a new notion for me... I think the key is to accept what's going on and really understand that difficulties have to be lived and gone through. I have never before put work first in my life, and put my needs and wants second. This is sooo new. So is my new found drive and will to do well! My energy just needs to keep up with the drive. And all the time too, there's no time for getting down in the dumps, which is oh so familiar to me. But where's the familiar now?
What will it come down to?
5.8.10
what we expect we get, the way programming our mind works
So I am in the ultrasound room at work and the patient presents her previous examination papers to the doctor. The first time the doctor who examined her saw a cyst on her thyroids. She's had several other examinations since that first time and the other doctors all wrote about the cyst being there.
But this time the doctor didn't see the cyst. She kept looking and looking closely but no cyst discovered. She told us that she has seen this happening many times. Someone sees something by mistake and the other doctors all follow in her footsteps and describe the same cyst which is not even there.
The power of our programmed, imagined thoughts. How far they take us from reality.
Guess what is going to happen to the patient who goes to have her teeth X-rayed with the anxiety of all her previous experiences when she was struggling with queasiness. She is terrified based on the past experiences and expects the worst. Is it possible that only because of that she will experience queasiness all over again? Often we get exactly what we expect and program our minds for.
But this time the doctor didn't see the cyst. She kept looking and looking closely but no cyst discovered. She told us that she has seen this happening many times. Someone sees something by mistake and the other doctors all follow in her footsteps and describe the same cyst which is not even there.
The power of our programmed, imagined thoughts. How far they take us from reality.
Guess what is going to happen to the patient who goes to have her teeth X-rayed with the anxiety of all her previous experiences when she was struggling with queasiness. She is terrified based on the past experiences and expects the worst. Is it possible that only because of that she will experience queasiness all over again? Often we get exactly what we expect and program our minds for.
3.8.10
Do you see your opportunities?
Often we have more opportunities in our lives that we see. Another person in your shoes would see other opportunities.
Situations also present us with lessons to be learned if we look carefully. My work gives me the opportunity to practice assertiveness and standing up for myself. I will consciously try to take advantage of this opportunity.
Develop eyes for opportunities and look for the lesson to be learned in difficult situations. Ask yourself: Why is this situation presented to me now? What's the lesson to be learned? How can I use this situation to my advantage?
Situations also present us with lessons to be learned if we look carefully. My work gives me the opportunity to practice assertiveness and standing up for myself. I will consciously try to take advantage of this opportunity.
Develop eyes for opportunities and look for the lesson to be learned in difficult situations. Ask yourself: Why is this situation presented to me now? What's the lesson to be learned? How can I use this situation to my advantage?
I'll be content when...
Back to the 'I'll be happy when..' topic. It amazes me how this seems to work. We delude ourselves that this one more item possessed, one more goal achieved, one more problem behind, will lead to our ultimate contentment and happiness. But when it is achieved, we are quickly on to the next project, hoping that will be our miracle cure.
While it is great to plan and want to improve our lives, how in the midst of all that can we still find peace and contentment with what we have and who are are right now.
Maybe it's our nature to be discontent a bit all the time. It's evident that we need to develop new eyes on our present lives to feel content. Also maybe it's best to accept that some dissatisfaction and frustration comes with the territory and is needed to push us further. Slippery road between rejoicing in the 'I am enough, I do enough, I have enough' mentality and keeping the motivation for more. More what? More contentment? hmmmmm
While it is great to plan and want to improve our lives, how in the midst of all that can we still find peace and contentment with what we have and who are are right now.
Maybe it's our nature to be discontent a bit all the time. It's evident that we need to develop new eyes on our present lives to feel content. Also maybe it's best to accept that some dissatisfaction and frustration comes with the territory and is needed to push us further. Slippery road between rejoicing in the 'I am enough, I do enough, I have enough' mentality and keeping the motivation for more. More what? More contentment? hmmmmm
1.8.10
today's gem
so today's aimless net browsing led me to this magnificent site, what a find!
http://happythings.tumblr.com
scattered with inspiring photos and quotes like:
“Happiness does not come from seeking new landscapes, but from having new eyes on the same life you’ve always been living.”
http://happythings.tumblr.com
scattered with inspiring photos and quotes like:
“Happiness does not come from seeking new landscapes, but from having new eyes on the same life you’ve always been living.”
with your allowance
Things that are happening to you are happening with your allowance. The people in your life are there with your allowance.
"You choose how you treat yourself and you choose how you let others treat you."
Despite of what you may be hearing, you are in control of your life and you get to decide. You are a separate being, no one gets to own you. You matter!
You are always free to stand still and strong! So, who's running your show? What do you allow?
"You choose how you treat yourself and you choose how you let others treat you."
Despite of what you may be hearing, you are in control of your life and you get to decide. You are a separate being, no one gets to own you. You matter!
You are always free to stand still and strong! So, who's running your show? What do you allow?
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