What will happen now?
Have I expected this to be too easy? Have I not prepared myself for the difficulties.... Has the reality of the situation hit me in the face lately a bit too much to continue the outsider attitude of just having fun with my new lifestyle?
How will I handle the difficulties now? It seems to have come out of the blue a little...is it a phase? I have trouble finding things to sustain me and ground me and keep me going. It almost seems like my colleagues are my best friends. Their patience and kindness toward me is absolutely amazing! It seems like there's work and nothing else anymore.
and I have trouble connecting to anything and anyone I ever knew. My friends are being treated very poorly, I hope they are forgiving... and my patience for my people and phone calls is next to nothing.
Inconsistency is not a new notion for me... I think the key is to accept what's going on and really understand that difficulties have to be lived and gone through. I have never before put work first in my life, and put my needs and wants second. This is sooo new. So is my new found drive and will to do well! My energy just needs to keep up with the drive. And all the time too, there's no time for getting down in the dumps, which is oh so familiar to me. But where's the familiar now?
What will it come down to?
you're a puzzle, my dear. have fun with sorting the pieces out.
ReplyDeleteand don't worry too much (which you won't have much time for anyway obviously), the endproduct of an arranged puzzle is usually beautiful! the more pieces the better :)