Do the Opposite!

of what you would normally do.

• “Whatever you hold in your mind will tend to occur in your life. If you continue to believe as you have always believed, you will continue to act as you have always acted. If you continue to act as you have always acted, you will continue to get what you have always gotten. If you want different results in your life or your work, all you have to do is change your mind.”

Makes perfect sense. It has recently occurred to me - What if I started undertaking challenges and engaged in a way of thinking completely opposite to what I have done so far. If my way of thinking and way of acting has produces the results I am not pleased with, it could be as easy as doing the things exactly opposite you have so far, and here's the key- you don't have to believe it's the right thing to do. Not at first. Take on the challenge, go with the flow and embrace the changes even if you are not a believer right away.

If you don't take your thoughts seriously, you can learn to cultivate new thoughts that work better for you, even if you are skeptical about them first. These new thoughts can produce the results you have been waiting for.

on letting go and other ramblings

In the course of a lifetime we have to learn the lesson of letting go over and over again. It doesn't always get easier.
We feel a sense of loss and grieving sets in; a lot of reading on the subject has helped me develop a more helpful attitude.
Here's a great article on attachment and letting go.

Interestingly, when it comes to people, I am less possessive of them than I am of things and objects.

I think that during our lifetime we cross paths with many different people who become our friends, lovers, partners. I believe we meet them to learn from them and enjoy what we give each other. For a chosen while we walk together on a path.
I am grateful for each relationship I have had, I have received so much joy from the people I have loved.

I always believe in the notion that anytime someone does something kind for you or gives you their time or attention, it is not something to be taken for granted. It's something to be appreciated, because these people act on their free will, nobody owes you anything.

I believe that in every relationship and friendship, both parties have to want it. I don't believe it's a good idea to push and force and want to influence the other person to want you.
I believe it's not a good idea to grasp and try to hold on, rather let it be, let go of trying to control.

A healthy dose of mutual interest in each other needs to exist. A healthy balance of both people sharing their lives and both being curious and interested in the other person's well-being.
I also believe that a woman needs to know in each and every case just when to push a little and when to let go. I think it's a little bit of a game.
I believe that love is permissive. To me the notion of one person is almost inconceivable. I am always looking forward to the joy and excitement of finding love again. Love comes in so many forms, nothing is excluded, everything is permitted. Love is there to revel in it, in every form, if we have more friends, we can have more lovers.

Where a door has closed, another door will open. Trust in the process of letting go, practice acceptance and never regret, be grateful for everything you have given and received and for the joyful times. There will be plenty more.
Create a shift of focus:

"Don't be sad it's over. Be happy that it happened." Dr Seuss

Challenge Yourself

It is very possible that you are capable of much more than you currently think you are and you are are not taking chances to discover your dormant abilities.
One of my biggest motivators has been- being infuriated by letting opportunities go by and failing to live up to 'my potential'. I find the topic of potential a fascinating one. We don't know what our potential can be, good bits of self-awareness, intelligence, self-confidence and imagination helps tapping into it.
Fear though is doing its job from the background to prevent us from fulfilling our potential.
Currently I am so intrigued by this that I want to play around with the idea. It seems to me that we are capable of never beforeseen changes.
How about challenging yourself to take on a project and see whether it works out.
Adopting the attitude of "Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step."
Self-confidence grows with every step achieved. It can be exhiliarating to see yourself succeed at things you never even dreamed you would, before.
Just take on a challenge and consider it a game.
All the time it's important not to take failure to heart and not to scare yourself when things don't go your way, or fall back into old patterns of thinking -I knew it wouldn't work.....
Be intrigued by what can happen, what you are capable of, trust in your growth and take failure with grace, it's part of the progress!
Adopt a playful attitude for the game of discovering your potential. You are the creator, you can reinvent it, play with it, just don't let your potential stay dormant forever.

The "Who's busier" contest

This post really speaks to me. When has talking about how busy we are become so trendy? People meet and what they talk about is share details about just how busy they are. It's like trying to win the who's busier contest? But since when does who's busier translate to who's more worthy? Who's happier, or who's living a more fulfilling life?? As the article points out, it doesn't quite, but that's what we have come to.

We talk about our time and our busy lifestyle as if we are prisoners to it. But we forget that time is in our control, not vice versa. I have noticed that since I have started working and obviously have less time, it feels like I have more time! I get the feeling that the more I do, the more time I have. It's always the way you look at it. And you will always have time for what you want. You are the creator of your time-table, it doesn't force you to do anything you don't accept. And the excuse of not having enough time is in the end just an excuse, I firmly believe that we always have time for what we truly want.

Perhaps we can try to create a new trend, who has more time to relax? Who gets more time to sit still and enjoy their own company, or their loved ones company without doing anything special, or anything scheduled, or anything so called productive. Staying still is productive.

You are not one way or another

Your character is not set in stone.
You can change a character trait by conscious awareness and effort to change the habits that are not working for you.
Nothing is predetermined and decided for you.

but who am I?

photo from

so I thought I know myself, I thought I was aware of my strengths and weaknesses and what I wanted and didn't want. Turns out, everything can get turned upside down. By your thinking. By selecting your thoughts and developing new thoughts, you can change everything about your life.

I've recently read in a Louise Hay book if I am not mistaken, but I will take time to search for it, that you can select your thoughts like you select food from a menu in a restaurant. You select the ones you like and nourish you. If you understand this and start practicing it, the changes can be downright astonishing. You don't have to believe the thoughts at first, practice is key, even if you don't believe it at first. It's a roller-coaster right now. I look back at so many stages and think to myself, how could I live like that? What was that like anyway. Imagine looking back at right now from years ahead.

It means nothing the way you have lived up to now. The mistakes you have made, the missed opportunities mean nothing. Anything can start now, from what seems like nothing.
The place where you are at right now is produced by the thoughts you have been thinking so far. If you don't like it, change your thoughts to get other results. Whatever beliefs you hold about yourself not being capable or worthy of better can change by selecting thoughts that work for you. You are the governor of your mind! You are in the driver's seat.

Everyone is your teacher

photo from somewhere here

What we can dream we can do. Dream it, believe in it, hold it in your mind, see the images and the end result. Thank you Lavinia for looking at me and telling me this: But why wouldn't you be able to do it? You can do anything you desire, if you truly want it.

Sometimes it's advice you have heard before, things you have read before but so many times simple good advice resonates with me for some reason whether it's coming from people you care about or a stranger in the street. Anyone you encounter can have something valuable to say to you, just be open to the lessons. Imagine that each person you come across is your teacher, whether you like them or not they have something to teach you.

Conscious Living vs. the Victim Mentality

I have always been in awe of those who live their lives consciously planning and working on their goals and improving their life circumstances. I have been thinking, what's their secret.

Perhaps a lot depends on the way you have been brought up- if you have developed the victim mentality, believing that you are a helpless doll life throws around the way it pleases, leaving you no choice but to take it and suffer through it all.

Either way, if you have fallen for the victim mentality, it is never too late to change your thinking, and owning up to the fact that it is your choice how you live your life and that you are capable of bringing about the changes you desire.
You are capable of breaking free! Anytime. If it hasn't happened so far, it can happen now. You can make things happen, instead of letting them happen to you.
Life doesn't keep you stuck, it is your choice!

Take a Leap of Faith

Leap and a Net will Appear

came across some inspiring quotes on the topic today. I have come to believe that when you feel something needs to be done but you don't see the ways and the hows just yet, you need to take a leap of faith.

Some more quotes from the Secret:

"Take a first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step." Martin Luther King

"Our job is not to figure out the How, the How will show up out of the commitment and the belief in the What".


Many times we don't take the first step, we feel stuck because we don't get to see the whole road and all the solutions to the obstacles, but there's no need to see all the ways.
If I believe in my goal, and take a leap of faith, I'll be supported and the solutions will be offered along the way.

impressing others

So how much time, money and focus do you spend on impressing others? How much of what you do daily is to impress others?

I think we have convinced ourselves that we do it for us, to feel better about ourselves, to increase our self-confidence. But where does our self confidence come from? Is it based on external validation and approval?

We are ourselves no matter what, and I feel the same way about myself whether I spend time on wanting to impress others or not. What do you really think?

What are the real costs of the quest of impressing others?

suffering is optional

“While pain might be inevitable,
the suffering that comes from the pain is not.
Suffering is not a state of life, it is a state of mind.
Suffering is your response to an event.
Whether you suffer or not depends
entirely on your reaction to that situation."
Paramahamsa Nithyananda

http://thinksimplenow.com

This realisation is so powerful. This is not about denying your pain, not accepting your feelings or trying to push them away.
Rather it's about understanding that you are mastering your thoughts and your thoughts will create your feelings.

Often when something bad happens we make it worse by thinking that we should feel bad because, wait.. this is a bad situation, everyone would feel bad... But while the situation is there, your reaction is up to you. There's no written rule about how you are supposed to feel. Maybe you suffer more in situations others handle easier and react to what seem terrible traumas to others in a better way.
But remember, nothing is good or bad, a situation is just what it is, we judge it in our minds and based on that judgement our feelings follow. It's not the situation that causes your feelings, it's your thoughts about it.

Keep it in the Now

Sometimes when something bad happens to us, we feel sad because of imagining how we are going to feel.
We look to the future and imagine how difficult it is going to be in the upcoming days, months.
How about trying to concentrate on the present moment, instead of looking ahead with grief. The present moment is what we have. Let's deal with that. Why make ourselves miserable over how we will feel, which is an assumption anyway. Why cross bridges of pain we haven't even come to. Take the burden off, keep your feelings in the now.