the way to happiness...

I was reading this quote yesterday which said that we feel happiest when we are working toward a goal and I was thinking...not sure about this one. How much does having aims and working toward achieving them contribute to happiness? While I am always thinking about fulfilling our potential, I am uncertain about the relationship between goals and happiness. Working toward goals and trying to tap into our potential is more like fun, something interesting that improves our life and adds joy to it.

Happiness is not the destination you get to when you achieve something, it is here all along. Happiness is in the moment right now. It's not a later notion, it's something to tune in to anytime, independent of where you get to be and achieve later. It's in the acceptance and full embracement of NOW.

Slow down and stand still

catinajanearts

It's amazing what a difference it makes when suddenly I am not faced with another workday and I have countless hours ahead of me that need not be filled with anything productive at all. I need not to hurry, or worry about being on time, doing everything I can within a limited amount of time. An ordinary workday gives you a definite time-frame and you gotta make the best of it... there's an urgency to do as much as you can. It's hard to slow down....

When that time-frame changes, loosens up, it opens up all sorts of possibilities. Suddenly the urgency to do so much is gone, you can almost unwittingly slow down and be in the moment with a peace of mind that is somehow different when you are about to go to work or come home from work. Looking ahead you see a serene horizon filled with what now seems endless hours and many happy days. That you get to enjoy and fill with whatever you fancy.

But what I observe with great pleasure is how I really get to slow down and stand still on vacation days. Without the urgency, I suddenly turn to activities I used to enjoy before my working era, I notice I get to focus on just one thing, really let myself indulge because the clock is not right there pushing me to hurry up. I can afford to be oblivios to time.
You can get so into multi-tasking and dividing your attention all around, which in the end results in scattered attention and lacking full focus so you find yourself not really doing anything at all with zest and full immersion.

I want to learn to allow myself to delve into just one activity with the same flow and enthusiasm when I am not on vacation. There is often actual time for that, it's just my mind runs overtime to push me to do the many things before I need to turn in to be there for tomorrow. I want to learn to enjoy my time with the same peace of mind and slowness, being mindful of the moments and the mundane tasks of just going through the day. Taking in the moments fully without the sense of urgency to move on to the next thing. I am here now.

feeling in tune with yourself

so the trick is to feel true to yourself playing the different personality roles. How do you know a role suits you?

I think we intuitively do. The other morning, I got off the bus and was heading to work. Standing still waiting for the light to turn green, I said to myself, wait a minute, something is OFF here. I wasn't feeling myself, had a feeling of detachment. Not having time to catch my breath and tune in with the world in the morning, I felt for certain that morning work was not my piece of cake.

We intuitively know if a role serves our best, and helps our true personality thrive. If we feel at home and at ease it's smooth sailing, otherwise we get a feeling of something not being right, a similar feeling to homesickness I think. Practice mindfulness throughout the day and catch when you feel most at home with yourself - effortlessly happy, balanced and fulfilled.

our many identities

We are all made up of many different identities, we often step into these roles and don't consciously realise what we are doing, who we are becoming. For a while you are a mother, a spouse, we have a work personality, a social/private persona etc.

I have only recently realised that I have a work personality. From one day to another, I developed one. Which may mean that I had one all along or that we are very quick to adapting and bringing out our potential. Daily it surprises me how my work personality does not coincide with my private personality. How much do we give away at our workplace of what we are like in our private lives? I think that no matter how much we enjoy our work, there's a sense of limited freedom when we are at work, we wait for time to pass so we can 'liberate' yourself a little. Or tune in to our other self, the one we are at home; we count down the hours where we are free to spend our time as we please. Where we can forget about the work restraints and our personality can break loose...

Then there's the personality we project. I have noticed some people even change their tone of voice when they speak to other people or when speaking on the phone. Is this consciously done or just an ingrained routine? What is the purpose of this?

I don't think I am one to project a different personality in different situations. But at work, when I am doing my routine of explaining patients the details of the examinations, it has become an ingrained routine so it feels a little strange to do it off work. I feel I morph into my work identity once I enter the clinic.

It's interesting how these different identities co-exist and merge together to make us whole. The trick is to find yourself in each of these roles and manage to feel at ease and true to yourself.

we get to choose

Yesterday I was in a quandary about which way to go about a situation. I had to make a decision and one seemed a worse option than the other. It was not about a big life-changing situation either. As I was struggling with which way to go, I paused and realised I was so lucky to have the choice. To be in the position to have the opportunity to choose. If we are lucky enough to get to make our choices every day, often simple ones about how to go about our days, how to spend our time, that's to be appreciated.

You can Make Someone's Day

in an easy effortless way by paying a heartfelt compliment. The other day I was surprised by something wonderful written to me by an old classmate. It totally made my day. She took the time to write something beautiful to me and I appreciate that so much. I kept thinking about what she wrote during the day and ever since then sometimes it just pops in my mind. If you like something about someone or admire them, you can easily make them happy by telling them how you feel. Whether it's someone close to you or a complete stranger in the street, don't shy away from expressing how you feel and be generous with your compliments!

be on the lookout for the lessons

Whether I am a supertaster or just absolutely crazy about food, I also have a problem eating too fast. When reading about solutions to overeating, one of the tips is to consciously try to eat slower. I have a problem with this. An unpleasant dental issue has recently forced me to eat slower and be careful with my bites. At first it was a challenge and a nuisance and I failed to discover the gift in the situation. Later though when I started getting used to it, I saw the lesson. For the first time I could actually eat slowly and chew the food properly, automatically then savouring each bite more. I thought to myself that if the situation resolves itself, I am going to make this new habit stick. Something I would have never discovered otherwise, if the problem hadn't surfaced....

I have the honor to...

Today I am thinking I am lucky to get the chance, another chance to work with Dr. Micle. I feel it's an honor. It's tempting to go through the day sometimes without noticing the opportunities, the gifts, the abundance... to take these things for granted.
Think about where you can consider yourself lucky or what are some situations you feel honored to experience? What does it mean to feel honored - to feel privileged, to show respect and humbleness toward the situation/person and respect yourself for being part of it, to feel happy and thankful for it.

'Today' is a gift you are given

I love the personal connection you get to experience by writing in the eco room. I feel I get to learn from the patients. Last week a kind patient handed us 'martisor' and he said that every morning when he wakes up, he rises from bed with gratitude and says thanks for being given another day, another chance.

Sometimes when things are hard or facing a difficulty, I adopt the attitude of thinking that I am in fact lucky to have the chance to work this situation out. To get another shot, another day here to sort it out. It puts you in a more positive position than if you are thinking of yourself as the victim who has to carry around another burden. Today you are being given another day, one more chance!

I've found

... that the quickiest way to alleviate bad mood is to turn to gratitude as an aid. A few moments of taking a look at WHAT IS RIGHT in your life with awareness and being thankful for everything, everything that seems natural but really isn't, is what it takes to improve bad mood anytime. There, in those moments of gratitude you will find that happiness is in this moment, not a state of mind to achieve later. In those moments of acknowledging everything that is supporting you, you will find peace of mind.