it is our natural state to like ourselves

"I look in the mirror and cannot stand what I see."   we hear often

I believe it is your natural state to automatically like yourself. No questions asked. No judgements.
When we look in the mirror we see Ourselves, no matter what that looks like, it's with inner acceptance we perceive.

But later, when we start thinking, whether it really is ok what we see, whether it's ok for the others, whether we measure up to what is expected, to what is considered the norm, the beautiful..... then the judgements come one by one. We are overwhelmed by the judgements and the "should statements" and self-acceptance loses terrain.

We start referring to what we see by words like -ugly, fat, or worse we call ourselves names and berate ourselves for not being more in control of what the image should be like (for whom?). We turn against ourselves, criticise ourselves and hope the fight will lead to positive change.

When we are saddened by what we see, we are fact saddened by all the external influences we have internalised of what we should look like, be like.

And then we go around and believe that it is truly us not liking our own image in the mirror.

Only we do, no matter what we see, we see ourselves, and authentically, without pressure from outside, we accept and naturally like what we see. That's a given. Self-compassion is a given until education and media interferes.

But then, you ask, how will I improve/change if I accept and like what I see. Changes don't come from a  place of hate and criticism. Change doesn't come from resisting reality and fighting it and punishing yourself. "You can't punish yourself into change. You can't whip yourself into shape. But you can love yourself into well-being." ~ Susan Skye

and change comes from a place where you truly want it for yourself and not from a place of pressure that it is expected of you.